This weekend I had a deeply profound healing experience.
I'm often the quiet one in groups, being the observer while everyone talks and bounces the energy around.
This weekend on a girls trip in Idyllwild, I felt myself shrink at the dinner table while everyone was chatting and I was quiet.
I heard my mind say "Is it ok that I'm not talking? Does everyone still know I'm here? Do I still belong in this group? Do they like me? Is it ok to be me? Is it safe to be just as I am?"
The next day I shared this with the group. I shared my fear. I shared my deep feelings of self-doubt, my fear of disappearing into the background, the fear of not belonging.
I cried as waves of sadness came through me. My little 5-year-old girl cried too.
And all these Women fully embraced me. They sat with me, totally present. They reflected the beauty they see in me, they shared how much my presence had touched them and how much I was seen for the gifts I bring to the group. They honored me as the observer.
And I just cried more. I released years of sadness, fear, loneliness, and they all just sat their cuddling and holding me and pouring unconditional love into me.
No words can describe how much healing this created. No words can truly say how deep this experience went into my cells and bones.
I feel more HERE. I feel more in my body. I feel more on Earth. I feel more confident and joyful. And I'm only JUST integrating this.
2020 for me is about being seen.
Not just being seen like up on a stage or on social media, but putting myself vulnerably in front of others humans, showing myself, and being loved in return. Allowing people to support me. Cultivating friendships that nourish both sides. And just choosing to be DONE with the "I'm alone" story that I've been telling myself for 33 years.
Now I understand that I have an important role in creating spaces like this for people to receive the gift that I've received.
I am creating a Women's Ceremony Circle group for 6 Women to go deep with each other, to deeply love and witness each other, and to be mirrors for each other's light and greatness.
We forget how much we need each others and instead resort to numbing our emotions with food, alcohol, smoking, shopping, sex, etc.
But in truth, powerful healing is simple and accessible to us all:
If you're looking for this, and looking to create SOUL TRIBE (and if you're in San Diego), contact me here.
I"m gathering 6 magical women to create this together over a series of 8 circles, in my private home in Encinitas.
There are 3 spots left to join us and we start next week, Monday, March 9th.
Message me to claim your spot! <3