Fear of Speaking up

Expressing my voice was always difficult for me.

Every time I was having a disagreement with someone, or became upset, or started to cry, my throat would literally ache with pain. There was a 10 year period in my teenage and early 20's where I got strep throat every single year.

It wasn’t until years later that I really understood what this meant - blocked energy, blocked expression, and a blocked voice. Fear of speaking up and speaking my truth. And it was causing issues in my body.

When I started painting again in 2017 I realized something. It felt WAY easier for me to express myself through paint and color than it did with words. With words I was scared of being misunderstood or judged or shushed.

With paint I didn’t care. It felt easier somehow, like no one could make me wrong on the canvas or tell me I was too loud. No one could tell me my imagination was wrong.

Painting allowed me a space where I could “say” what I wanted without fear.

And so I encourage you - use creativity to help yourself feel more free. Let it be a safe haven for you to be, say or do what you really want. Develop that confidence and then take it into other areas of your life.

Be ugly, be dark, be loud, be messy, be angry, be heavenly, be whatever it is you want to be. Show it to others or save it just for you.

Creating doesn’t have to be about making something perfect or beautiful. Creating can be the vehicle to move through what’s stuck.

For me, that was my voice and my confidence.

What might that be for you???