Today I've been feeling a little sad about Burning Man.
I'd been planning to go for months, I had a ticket, had a camp. And then I got sick...
Then I decided that going was going to be a healing experience for me, and that's what I'd get from it. And then I got really sick...
In the end there was no way I could go. I didn't even want to after everything I went through. All I wanted was calm seas, restful sleeps, peace, quiet and ease. So Josh went and I stayed.
You know that moment when the perfect song comes on and it plucks emotions you didn't even know were there? Sadness came bubbling up and paid me a visit this morning. And she stuck around most the day.
When I was going through my darkest moments of pain with UC, I'd have moments where I let myself crumble. I let myself sob like a baby and even give up for a moment. And then I'd come back to the knowing that this is my spirit learning and part of my path. I'd let the emotion run through me like a waterfall and then eventually return to trust.
I think the important thing is, I get to have both. I get to be empowered in the learning AND I get to feel the sadness when it comes on. I don't have to choose.
They are both mine to have and to feel. And it's ok. <3